Bag of Snickers

       "Come here, I need to show you something," he said to her. She followed him into the kitchen. He stopped at the refrigerator and opened the freezer. He took out a bag of miniature Snickers bars and held it up in front of her face. They had been married a couple of months and one of the things she had learned about him was he liked to keep his chocolate in the freezer. So they ALWAYS kept the chocolate in the freezer. 

       What? She had not yet learned to read his mind. "There is a hole in this bag of Snickers," he said. 

"And... are you trying to say that you are afraid someone has put something toxic in the candy bars? Take them back to the store."

       "You just don't get it do you," he said to her, "Someone has busted in to this bag of Snickers. Someone has been sneaking chocolate."

       "Well, it was not me, and Muriel doesn't even like Snickers. Maybe there was a hole in the bag when you bought it."

       "No, call her into the kitchen! We are going to get to the bottom of this."

       God! This was ridiculous! It's just a stupid bag of miniature candy bars! 

       "I told you, Muriel doesn't even like Snickers bars.

       "Call her in."

       Muriel came in to the kitchen. "Sit at the table," he said. "Did you get into this bag of Snickers?"

       Muriel and I both denied it. I did not have any, and Muriel certainly did not because like I said before, Muriel does not like Snickers.

        He dumped all the Snickers bars on to the kitchen table. "I am going to count each one of these candy bars," he said. "Then we are going to go to the grocery store and buy another bag just like it and bring them home and count those Snickers bars. If it is not the same exact amount in each bag, then someone is in big trouble. There is nothing I hate worse than a liar." 

       We went to the store, bought the bag. "I am going to count the candy bars in this bag and if they are not the same as the first bag, someone is in trouble. You know I hate liars and that is why I am angry so it would be better if you fess up now." He stared at Muriel as he said this. No one said anything.

       We sat there while he counted the Snickers one by one. He finished and had a disgruntled look on his face so he counted them again. They watched and waited.

       "Well... it looks this bag has the same number of Snickers in it as the other one. I guess there was just a hole in the bag when I bought it. But you see why I was so upset, I cannot tolerate a liar. I'm sorry I accused you."

And that is the story of the one time he apologized in ten years.